Helter Skelter
by exterminatecake
Summary: Will you, won't you want me to make you/I'm coming down fast but don't let me break you/Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer/You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.


**AN: Why yes, I did just make a Beatles reference in a twisted blackrom Johnkat fic. Problem?**

* * *

_it's blood and almost tears but you grit your teeth and suck it up; there's no way you'll let him see you cry._

_and you close your eyes and bite your tongue as his fangs graze a sensitive area, making fireworks pop and fizzle behind your eyelids and bursts of shuddering pleasure bloom as he murmurs words into your ear, you hate every second of this, but you'll do anything to continue._

_the moment is spun glass, fragile and beautiful, and you can't break it._

_you won't break it._

_he hisses into your ear, "let's show everyone who you belong to," and you nod shakily (no stop i don't belong to you this is wrong) and let out a pained moan as his teeth sink into your shoulder (please no why can't we just have each other) there's no love in this but you can't bear to face it so this is perfect, everything is perfect (stop), rose and jade and everyone else is wrong (no they're not), nothing needs to change, you can't lose him (he doesn't own me), you just can't, nobody can make you!_

_and white-hot fire sears across your vision, you dig your nails into your palms and curl your toes, trying not to cry out (i won't give him the satisfaction, i won't), but it doesn't work, you fall back onto the pillows and he gets up and smiles and tosses you a bottle of rubbing alcohol and bandages and you just lie there, another piece of your world breaking away and crumbling to bits around you and you laugh and laugh._

* * *

It started out as a joke.

It was your birthday, your first one since you met up with everyone else, so of course you pulled a prank.

It was only a prank.

EB: hey, karkat!  
EB: guess what?  
EB: remember what you said to me the first time you talked to me?  
CG: I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN, DAMN IT.  
EB: oh, well, if you really don't want to know!  
EB: but it's taken me so long to build up the courage to tell you.  
CG: … ARE YOU ACTUALLY SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING.  
EB: yup!  
CG: IF THIS IS ONE OF YOUR IDIOTIC PRANKS I SWEAR I WILL FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN AND  
CG: IS THIS A PRANK?  
EB: no, why would i prank you?  
CG: I  
CG: JUST  
CG: FUCK YOU, EGBERT.

You didn't talk again for the rest of the day.

You planned to explain it to him the next day, really!

But when you got to his room…

* * *

"_finally come to see me?"_

"_haha, yeah! so, uh, listen; about yesterd-"_

_but there was something dark in his eyes, something that made you stop in your sentence and step back and keep stepping back and you were against the wall and there were claws at your back and fangs at your lip and time froze and stuttered and when it stopped there was red running down your lip and fascinated revulsion on his face and you slapped him and you weren't even sure why._

_and then you were on the floor and you weakly struggled but you couldn't hurt him, or rather you wouldn't, because this young troll is so fragile and weak even though he is so very, very strong._

_it's too easy to break people._

_you realized trolls are different, but it was too late._

* * *

First, you went to Dave.

Then Rose.

Then Jade.

You even talked to Kanaya, as per Rose's suggestion (something about ashes or pale black or whatever, you're a bit fuzzy on the details).

They all told you to tell him the truth.

But for some reason, you didn't want to.

* * *

_he growled, deep in his throat, rumbling against your chest and sending low vibrations throughout your body, dragged his claws down your chest, revolted and entranced by the crimson beads decorating your bare skin. red on white, like a work of art, twisted and cracked until it burned into your head as a symbol, a symbol of… what?_

_a tongue traced around the shell of your ear, there was a light nip (a warning, there's more to come) and then a whisper, "why don't you fight back?"_

_you froze, your heart pounded, your mouth gaped. the world cracked, just barely, but it cracked across the middle._

_a symbol of a twisted love, a hatred so deep you accepted it and bent it, broke it, broke it like it broke you until it resembled love in your head, a dark love, a love that never existed._

"_tell me."_

_a warning edge._

"_tell. me."_

_a tear slid down your face and down your chest, glinting wetly just above the dots of blood that collected in little pools. like crystals and rubies on pale white silk, dusted with fine dark hairs. funny. it really was a work of art._

_(it's too easy to break people.)_

_his weight left you and he quietly slipped out the door, leaving you to lay on the bed as the room spun until you felt dizzy and weak and weirdly, twistedly happy._

_(i love him._

_he hates me.)_

_you giggled a broken giggle and trailed a finger down the sheets._

_(so ironic._

_dave would be proud.)_

* * *

And now your world is falling apart, piece by piece.

You don't know what will happen when it's gone.

But it makes you laugh to think of it.

* * *

**AN: wOOPS I THINK I SADSTUCKED **

**wow this really sucks doesn't it.**


End file.
